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Sunday, June 10, 2007

Dogs Versus Cats as the Ultimate garden pet

(Man's best friend)

If you are a gardener and are thinking of getting a pet, here's some timely advice.

Get a cat. Dog's are cute and might be mans best friend but when it comes to gardening, they will make your blood pressure POP!

Cat's slink around the plants in your garden.
Good cat.

Dog's thunder through the plants in your garden.
Bad dog.

Cats will hunt down any vole, mouse, chipmunk or bunny eating up your garden.
Good cat.

Dogs will chase any vole, mouse, chipmunk or bunny through your garden, decimate a 15 foot swath and come up empty handed with a big goofy grin on their face.
Bad dog.

(What makes you think I was sniffing down that chipmunk hole again?)

Cats will wait patiently at the opening of a chipmunk hole for hours until the wee creature emerges and then pounce.
Good cat.

Dogs will dig out that chipmunk hole so far that you will be looking at China (most likely a Chinese gardener with a dog will be peering back at you).
Bad dog.

Cats are nice and quiet so you can hear yourself think. When a visitor comes by you can actually have a conversation.
Good cat.

Dogs are loud, rude and disruptive. Even if you put them in the house, shut all the windows and doors, you will have to ask your visitor to walk 50 feet down the driveway before you can carry on any kind of conversation with them.
Bad dog.

(If you think I can't still hear you, you're wrong!)

When cats dig holes in your garden, it's to bury their business.
Good cat.

When dogs dig holes in your garden, it's just for fun, and never where you need a new hole.
Bad dog.

(Yes, I know the compost heap was on the other side of this wall, I just wanted to dig on this side.)

You can carry home the biggest bag of cat food and not hurt your back.
Good cat.

If you try to carry a bag of dog food without wearing a hernia belt you will find yourself making best friends with the chiropractor.
Bad dog.

Cats do not steal your every garden tool and barbeque utensil every time you turn your head.
Good cat.

Dogs will steal anything not nailed down and chew the living daylights out of it. They will stoop so far as to stick their head under the barbeque vinyl cover just to get a hold of that scrubby grill brush that smells like burnt meat.
Bad dog.

When a cat is inside the house it will not enter a room if the door is shut.
Good cat.

When you have lever door knobs, your dog will figure out how to open any door they desire.
Bad dog.

(Of course I didn't make that mess. You should be more careful with your trash.)

Cats give themselves baths.
Good cat.

(I don't know what you're talking about. I like that smell.)

Dogs never give themselves baths. They will run through every mud puddle in the garden, prance around in a rain storm, attack the sprinkler and then balk at standing in the bathtub unless you join them. Then when they are soaking wet and you turn your back they will make a run for it, open doors and lay down on your bed, on YOUR pillow, not your husbands pillow.
Bad dog.

(Hey! How are you supposed to get a drink around here?)

(What do you mean by "this couch is for people"?)

At the worst a cat will use a plant marker as a back scratcher.
Good cat.

At its best a dog will chew your plant marker only enough so that you can still make out the name (but you will have no hope for finding out where it came from).
Bad dog.

(No words necessary)

Every cat I've had has come when I've called its name.
Good cat.

When I call my one dog by her name she looks at me with that teen-age look. (I see your lips moving but all I hear is Blah, Blah, Blah.)
Bad dog.

(Table? What table? How was I supposed to know not to sleep on the table?)

Cats sleep all day while you are working and then do what ever they do at night while you are sleeping.
Good cat.

Dogs drive you crazy all day long and then try to sleep on your bed while you are laying exhausted in it at night.
Bad dog.

Thus goes one week with Calie the wonder-dog. After a harrowing week of chasing my labradoodle Calie around the yard as she devasted multiple plantings, decimated a family of bunnies and traumatized a colony of chipmunks I've decided to post the pro's and con's to having a dog or cat. Before we had Calie, we were always a cat family so I know well what that was like.

My yard is totally trampled!


Gotta Garden said...

This is one of the cutest and funniest things I have read! I just love it!!

I have both...dogs and cats...and one of my cats (who shall remain nameless...for the moment) loves the garden too much...and will damage things rubbing on them. I walk quickly when he's around! However, their guardian services are the best as evidenced by the recent...ugh...thing they left.

The dogs...I was going to say... do almost no damage...they are great...except...last night we had a thunderstorm and one of mine has developed a fear of them of late...and came crashing through the dayliles to be near me when he heard thunder! Amazingly, other than some foliage damage, I don't think he knocked a scape off (fingers crossed)...I don't know how he managed that!

Well, we just couldn't live without them!

Xris said...

It's funny because it's true.

One correction: Although our cat has not figured out how to open doors (and given that they're all glass/crystal doorknobs, she's not likely to), she will not abide a closed door. A closed door is an affront to her dignity, nay her royalty. A queen should be able to walk anywhere she wants in her city. Or her house.

She can't open it, but she can push on it. And cry about it. And yell at us. With the same tenacity as you describe for one watching a vole hole. Which is to say, until we open the door.

Melanie Vassallo said...

It's funny how pets control our lives. We adore our dog Calie but never in a million years did I expect her to damage as much of my garden as she has done in the past two weeks.

We've got our fingers crossed that she is still in the "puppy stage" of life and things will change by next summer.

Cats are amazing creatures, wish we could have an outdoors one here!


Rosy said...

I laugh all the way through!

So true on the differences of cats and dogs, although my cat lucy insist at trying to sneak a few good scratching on the couch even though she has a scratching post! and as far as for my dog he would rather destroy my cat toys instead of his. lol.

I am glad I had stumble on to your blog.

Adina said...

Callie is a cutie. Leave it to white doodles to find the MOST dirt to play in.